Is it me.............
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Staying awake?
Just watched Gordon Ramsey on TV. Yelling at would be chefs in LA. Very refreshing to see someone say it as it is actually - I like that about Simon Cowell too when he is on. The Americans really seem to sing a song around their comments. The Brits say it like it is - even if they are rude. i must admit though when old Gordon gets going I do wonder how he can be with his kids when they are naughty. He does seem to have such a temper. I was watching him whilst doing the obligatory 1/2 hr on the new treadmill. According to my daughter it is my life's dream to have a treadmill (it isn't). We got it a few weeks back as there was a sale and it is more convenient than going to the gym (I tell myself). Even if I only use it once a month it is better than my hubby who joined a gym 'that was on the way home from work.' Yes but he has to physically park the car and go in for it to be any use. Daughter has a playdate tomorrow. They called and asked if she could go just tonight. Normally here they call for the following week. Oh yes, in case your 8 year old has a choc a block schedule. My kids do not as I don't think its too healthy. Also with the 4 of them there wouldn't be enough hrs in the day.... The baby (6 months) doesn't have a lot of playdates, bless. So this is the thing - do I stay awake and hope he wakes up for his night feed soon or go to sleep and hope he manages another few hrs alseep? Which ever one I pick I bet I am still knackered in the morning. 
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11.7.06 06:15
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Tired, as expected......
Well
In the end I stayed up to await baby's crying. Watched a Kathy Griffin interview on Larry King Live which was quite good. I had seen her do a stand up sketch about the old guy and his young wife, whch was v. funny but he can't have had any clue about it as he was really very nice to her. Anyhow, stayed awake until midnight and then called it a day.
Baby woke up at 1.15... and again at 5.30... and then wild child (2 year old) was in at 6.15. It was quite a long night..../morning.
Hubby is flying this am so I kept the baby in baby's room for the feed so hubby could sleep. Normally do this unless I am really really tired and fear falling off the rocking chair - then occasionally I take the baby in the double bed....But you hear such mixed messages on that one. Well you can hear such mixed messages about lots of hings can't you?
Daughter is already in swimming costume awaiting playdate drop off which isn't for another 3 hours.... and eldest boy is trying to work out what he can nag me for relentlessly to get things equal with her fun quota...... for Goodness sake.....
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11.7.06 14:59
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Soccer
Well with 3 young boys this is something I am going to have to tackle. Soccer for those of us Stateside or footie for those back home. I didn't turn the TV on much for the World Cup, but hubby was quite obsessed and if it was on I watched it....
So my eldest boy, my very loving but whiny one, has been blessed with little coordination, but he can run after the ball. for about 2 minutes then he seriously turns red and looks like he will pass out. last year he wanted to 'do' soccer after school but it involved several practices and more committment than I felt we were able to give (was v. pregnant at the time). So we didn't sign up for it and I felt guilty all the time. He's not into it enough to have Beckham posters on his wall (David not Victoria) but was very chuffed when Grandma brought over an England kit.
Anyhow, at school in the summer there was an after school 'pee wee soccer.' Wasn't too expensive and he liked it. Mainly he liked the teacher who was fun and not too demanding. They were very little kids - 4 and 5 year olds, girls and boys who really chased each other around a lot regardless of where the ball was - quite funny to watch.
So my dilemma is this: He has asked again to sign up for soccer. I am not pregnant, I have no excuse. We find the time for the eldest to go horse riding once a week, we can probably find the time for 2 sessions of soccer (7 weeks each). Phoned today to work out which team he would be on and the practise night so we would be able to make sure we are free - here's the issue.
registration deadline is this friday.
as of yet there is no coach for the Under 7s
only when they have a coach will he decide if it is one or two practises a week and what nights
they will not know a coach before Friday
I need to pay when I register
and there are no refunds
they also don't know where the practises will be - 2 miles away or 25 miles away.
it's leaving me wondering if I am the only one who can see this as a bit of a problem. I talked it through with the 'soccer office' and it was a case of 'that's just the way it is.'
Bit of a gamble n'est pas?
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12.7.06 04:19
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bells
Well another night with very little sleep but this time it wasn't down to the baby. Hubby was away on business - part of the norm I am afraid. Went to bed and activated he burgalar alarm as always. We inherited the alarm when we moved in. Sensors on lots of doors and window, a few on mesh coverings (screens) and some very James Bond like ones in the floor in certain places.
A few weeks ago the alarm went off during the day - it automatically put it through to the alarm control station who call us to check we are ok/ it's a false alarm. A few weeks ago when they called (it was the first time it had happened in ages) we were not home and they had the wrong cell phone numbers for us - so as they couldn't get hold of us to see what was what they automatically sent out the Police - who had a quick look around the perimieter. All looked ok. They left. And sent us a statement - you are only allowed 2 'false call outs' a year. it turned out there was a dodgy contact in a door which the alarm company then fixed.
So LAST NIGHT fed the baby around 11 and fell blissfully asleep. Until 2.41am. Loud blaring noise - I mean can't even talk at normal volume with the noise LOUD. Got to control panel to see 'access screen doors'. Turn off alarm. Silence. Then try to think where we have screen doors within the alarm system as it is non specific (usually it says garage rear door or something). Try to listen for any intruders (how pathetic, what was I going to do, yell 'Go away?'). Heart was in mouth, adrenaline kicking in. My door opened and I swear I thought my heart would stop - until I saw my fright was my sleepy 8 year old who wanted to know what the noise was - told her it was just the alarm messing about - and off she went to bed. She must have been v. sleepy as she didn't see my facial expression not matching my mouth..... So the call from the alarm monitoring people comes in and they too can't specify where the trigger is but the woman suggests she stay on the line whilst I walk through the house. I think it's fairer to say I shook my way around turning lights on all over. Didn't see any signs of entry. She asked if I wanted to dispatch the police. Said probably not. She suggested it was maybe a squirrel. A BLOODY SQUIRREL???? I was not convinced. The only screen I think it could be is covered with a small roof and the screen is on my side - an intruder would have to break glass to get it going... was all very confusing and at 2ish the brain was not working well. Got off the phone with her. All was quite but was still very spooked.
We live in a developement with a 24 hr guard patrol so I called the guy's car and explained what was what and asked if he could drive to me and have a quick look around. He said yes but he had heard of recent intruders cutting through screen for access and he wanted to call the police to be sure. This scared me enough to agree so I waited for him to turn up (3 minutes) and from what he could see everything looked ok but he wanted to do a more thorough search when the police and their guns showed up. We waited, and waited and waited. I asked him if he had called it thr as a 911 (emergency) or a non - emergency, but he said it had been 911 and 20 minutes there was no show (the police station is a 1 minue drive away). I then called them just to check he had given the right address. I HATE calling 911 and didn't feel I warranted it at all as it was not life/death but they were very nice and said my 'town' had only 2 officers on duty and there had been a fatality they were busy with that so they were dispatching officers from the next town - hence the longer wait. They came and had a better look with torches etc and saw no new foot prints in the flower beds etc. They seemed v confident it was a false trigger and I apologised for wasting their time. They were actually very kind about it.
Went to bed with lights still on everywhere and every squeak I heard on the baby monitor woke me up. NOt only that but I was not able to re-set the alarm as it is still reading 'screen door open' even though it makes no sense. Will call the alarm people to come and do repair as soon as they open. Never really thought about what the sense of security meant until it became at risk.
Oh and the boys slept through all that noise! Amazing!!!!
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12.7.06 14:44
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Eating
My eldest boy is almost 6. When the eldest girl was born 2 12/ years before him it was a typical all attention on her situation. And then came the second - who certainly had as much attention as she did when he was a newborn but maybe when he got to the toddler stage he lost out a bit. Or maybe I am just trying to find excuses.
As a baby on his first foods he ate very very well. I have always found it hard introducing meat to babies/toddlers. We don't eat a lot of meat ourselves. At his 2 year check up I remember voicing concern about his lack of interest in fruits and veggies but eldest daughter had been like this too and grown out of it and was, at 4 1/2 a good eater. The Dr didn't seem concerned. By the 3rd year check up I WAS concerned. He was out of nappies easily and seemed so skinny his trousers were always low. He looked like a plumber. The Dr (in a different state to where we are now) told me I am not a short order cook (I think by that she meant that I didn't have to cook lots of different meals for family members). She told me to cook one thing, put it on the table and to wait and see if he ate it - if not, tough - he would when he was hungry. It never really happened. At the 4 year old check up we had moved. New Dr. She bent down to him and said "Hey buddy, you have to try new foods". She might as well have spoken Chinese. No improvement.
He ate. He wasn't skinny but he had a limited range of food and never ate what I would say was a real meal (unless you counted a Macdonalds Happy Meal with Chickens). He drank plenty, loved fruit, hated veggies. No meat. I had tried the only cooking one meal and he NEVER ate. He had a staple of eating cheese sandwiches UNTIL a well meaning relative (maybe that's too complimentary) put a few peas in his cheese sandwich to get him some veggies. My little one found them and NEVER touched a cheese sandwich again.
5th year check up I had a different Doctor. She listen. She agreed he was growing but also saw how this took its toll on us all - we could never eat out etc. I was pregnant with number 4 - I think she felt sorry for me.
She spoke to a colleague who knew a bit more.
They suggested I took him to an eating specialist here in this city. Someone was listening! But the downside it was pricey. And not covered by our health insurance.
We went. Paid almost 500 pounds just for the assessment.
They agreed we had issues. He has very weak muscle tone. Over extendable joints. Over active sense of smell. Speech issues (I had already had him in Speech therapy for 6 months). He didn't chew properly or place his food in the right area of his mouth. He had learned how to digest a few foods. They were his chosen few. He could get away with swallowing them. She made us do an experiment. Get a dry cracker. Bite it off with your front teeth. Chew it 3 times - only with the front of your teeth - don't let your tongue push it back - don't let your spit get it as moist as you normally would. And then swallow it from the front of your mouth. It is very hard - almost impossible. That is the equivalent of what he always does.
I wondered how I had taught (?) the eldest to eat and chew and swallow properly compared to him. I still don't get it.
They recommended therapy which we have been doing for 8 months (at 50 quid a week) It is expensive. There are times it works, times I am frustrated. A lot of it goes against all we were brought up with.
It's ok to play with food. It's ok. They introduce new foods. It the child won't eat it, will they touch it? Let them put it on their head (the next week maybe they kiss it - the next week lick it....). I see some progress and I have learnt so much about food. My husband isn't sure. The thing is we have invested all this time and money and there has been improvement but maybe he would have made progress just as he got older? What about the kids who are like this and can't afford all this?
Anyhow we are doing well. We have another 4 weeks of classes and then we are having a break. It is still a huge struggle but we're getting there. Other kids have been doing it FOR YEARS. They freak if they see new foods and hide under the table. A lot of the kids have had feeding tubes put in. Compared to them I have no issues.
In the first group I was in I got to like the mums very much. Some more than others. We all had to explain why we were there - what had triggered us to see an issue. One woman had done what a previous Dr had suggested to us. Cooked the same meal for her kid until he was hungry. Battle of the wills. It ended 4 days later with a dash to the hospital and IVs etc as the kid just couldn't/wouldn't eat the food. She felt so so guilty and I can understand why - and why she did it. Her little boy is LOVELY - very very sweet. But I think he will be there a few more years. They also have other medical issues. The husband has battled cancer recently, the older kid is on meds for ADD. I hope they get through it all. So much of it is based on trust too. That child will only drink water, nothing flavoured at all. The elder brother had put some juice in the water and the kid drank it and so was it a success? No. Because by doing that you are tricking the child. If he finds out what you have done he may never trust you again - and if he won't take water then they are really stuck.
My current group is not as big. Not as friendly. My boy plays well with another boy there whose mum has made his progress her life's work. She means well. I was telling her how my boy was going to attend a summer camp with different activities and one of them was 'edible creations.' I was wondering if I should tell the cooking teacher about his situation, how he may refuse to try things or gag at a taste, or look like he will throw up with smells. The other mum said 'you have to decide if you are his advocate in life.' I said 'I don't think I am to that extent.' and her eyes nearly fell out of her head. I decided not to mention it at camp at all - unless there were issues. He enjoyed it, there were no issues at all. I didn't mention a thing.
Last week at food group the kids were doing OT and trying to swing from bars etc. My boy was not great with this but he loved every minute of it. Her boy was very good - her older girl was there too and also very good. I commented on this and she said 'Oh yes, my children do gymnastics, we are very involved. We do so many activites together.' How can one phrase make you suddenly feel so inadequate as a parent?
Well at least my child didn't hide in the corner when he saw a slice of cheese.
Sorry - sounds a bit smug. Fridays can be therefore so up and down emotionally. But we are getting there. We really are,
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14.7.06 15:13
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Names
I need to come up with some semi decent nick names to describe my kids in this blog. They all have unusual names. Having said that, my eldest, she has quite an unusual name but when she was in pre-school in a class of 13 there were 2 of them with the same name although mine was spelt with an I whilst they used Y. Anyhow.....
Here in America there are a lot of strange strange names. I knew one woman who let her 2 year old pick out the name for the new baby. I kid you not. So the 2 year old didn't have a wide vocabulary - the baby ended up being called PARK. Mmmm.
Another friend let her little boy pick the name for the new baby girl. So they have Eric and Erica. Maybe that is fine and I am odd for raising my eyebrows. Who knows.
Anyhow, there aren't many of my kids' names in use so I shall have to think of 'nick names.' Even the grandparents commented on the names when they were born. Things like "You can't call a baby that. The man around the corner has a dog called that!" to "Where do you come up with these names/ Are you really sure?" - they said that for the first 5 days of his life. Another boy and the name was not as unusual I thought until a Grandparent said 'Well I have never ever heard of that before" which didn't affect us at all. Then after a trip to the post office the same grand parent phoned back to tell us that the man behind the counter at the Post Office, HE had heard of the baby's name. So that was all right then.
We have always made the decision to keep baby's names a secret before the baby is born - specifically not to get these comments sway us too much. But it still bugs us. A lot. We said if our kids give their own children whacko names we will only say anything to each other - when we are safely back in our rooms at the Holiday Inn (we know from our experiences it is too much to stay at length with your kids - so we will be frequent guests of the Holiday Inn).
My 6 month old was going to be Scarlett if a girl. If a boy he was maybe going to be called Saul, or Quaid. Now he is something totally different and probably more obscure - and if I knew the way to pronounce it would be so hard for Americans Iwould maybe have reconsidered. but naming a child seems to be such co
mpromise. Before I met hubby I would have picked Carlotta or a girl and Sven for a boy. That was before the football manager. But even so they were quickly vetoed by Hubby.
By the way - the annoying woman/mother from food therapy yesterday was wittering on about food and Fred liking this too and I said 'Oh really, I didn't think he liked that?' To which she replied "oh I mean Big Fred, not Little Fred." (The father not the son). Interesting.
So let's just say I have a daughter who is 8 called Bee, a boy almost 6 called Paddy, a terror nearly 3 called Mac and a cute little 6 month old called Rory.
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15.7.06 17:59
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Manners again
So I saw that the entry I wrote a few days ago never appeared.... Mmm. Maybe I need to use the save as draft button a bit more. Well you live and learn. I shall vent again then.
Bee and Paddy were invited to a playdate at someones house. It's in an area where the kids can play on the footpath and the yard at the back isn't big but has an alley where the cars drive to get to the garage to park. It is a nice neighbourhood but we didn't buy there 2 years ago because we didn't feel this was really safe for the kids unless you watch them play all the time. I have read too many stories in Newsweek about kids being snatched - so I always lecture my kids about playing near a parent rather than wandering off. A few months ago we were all over at a friend's house who has a similar set up and my hubby went mad at the kids playing on the front pavement with cars rushing by(the parents couldn't even see them from the window, didn't seem bothered and hubby and I took turns in keeping watch). I know what he means but I am not a great one for confrontation so I just haven't let my kids go over there apart from one rainy day when I knew there was no chance of them playing out.
So this week as I said yes that Bee and Paddy could go over but only play if the mum was there on the street etc - which is quite hard for a 8 and 5 yr old to insist on but they understood why I was saying it. The other mum, from Brazil is very nice but I don't know her terribly well. She said to pick them up again at 4. No problem. I get back to their house at 4.05 and feel bad for being 5 minutes late. It is a hot day - almost 100 here. I have Mac & Rory in the car and I nip up to the front door. It is answered by a strange woman - the cleaner maybe? I don't know:
Me: Oh hi, I'm here to collect Bee and Paddy
Lady: They're not here
Me: Oh I thought Lily said to get them at 4? (Worrying where they were - hopefully not in the car , they didn't have their car seats with them)
Lady: She took them for ice-cream. They should be back.
Me: Oh which way did they go (thinking please say they walked)
Lady: I don't know
PAUSE
Me: Well I have my little ones in the car
PAUSE
Me: Well I'll just wait in the car then.
Lady: OK.
So I waited in the car (luckily with A/C) for 25 minutes. The mum came back - i was so relieved they were walking I wasn't even bothered Mac had been screaming to get out for 20 minutes... the other mum apologised but I made a mental note that maybe in Brazil 4 o' clock doesn't mean 4 o' clock.
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15.7.06 18:24
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