Is it me.............
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Activities
it is that time of year again where school is underway and we are getting bombarded with details on 'after school activities.' As you can see from my previous 'soccer' related accounts - this makes me nervous. It is a fine line between letting my kids do activities without becoming a full time chauffeur leaving no 'down time' for the family - and my other fear which is that I deprive my kids from doing what they want because of the Old Mother Hubbard syndrome. That they miss out because we have so many children. The school the oldest 2 go to is quite good in that it offers a lot of classes straight after school and on the school grounds and they even ferry them to and from the various locations on site. This makes it easier for me - it has just been the working out of who is doing what, which days. So far we are talking Yoga, Extra art, Tai Kwon Do and Mad Science. Maybe the odd Brownies and horse riding. riting it doen it seems an awful lot. If I didn't have the Old Mother Hubbard syndrome I bet there wouldn't be half as many on the list  I should know better - but Mac, my almost 3 year old, he started play group again this week where a mum told me about a gym class her boy goes to. Huge guilt trip that I don't do any classes with him. So of course I signed him up. We'll see - Am I the only one who does this? I am reading a book right now (non fiction) called Mother Madness and it is about things like this so I dare say I am not alone in this.......... From the first couple of chapters I have read so far it seems to be a very American thing Happy September by the way....... 
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1.9.06 13:18
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Baffling
Isn't it strange when you really think you know someone or at least you feel you know someone and then they go and do something and you think 'whaaaat?' Case in point - Mac's playgroup teacher from last year. She was the sweetest, funniest, most patient teacher ever. She was fair, full of ideas with the kids and had been doing the job a long long time. Now there were a few occasions that she was absent - it seemed family issues were a factor - but she seemed reliable in every sense Well this past week there was an 'open evening' where you tok your child to meet the teacher/see the new classroom etc. Mac was supposed to have the same teacher but a different room. He was so excited to see her - but when we got there it was an older teacher. She said that they had not heard from 'other teacher' since school had finished. She hadn't had the decency to return phone calls and they had been very much been left high and dry by her. Just didn't soun like her at all. Hope nothing is untoward.... Mac was very very baffled. Told him she was sick which he didn't believe one bit. I think he still expects her to be there next week. Such a shame really - I hope she is ok - it seems very out of character.
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2.9.06 15:13
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Bad Day??
I got up to feed Rory at 4.30 and couldn't get back to sleep, so got up and made packed lunches and sat down for my breakfast - just pottered around the house.
Seemed to need to yell at the kids more and more to get them dressed and into the car. "Put the socks ON instead of carrying them around." and "Get in the car NOW" seemed to be heard for miles around
Got the older kids to school on time then decided to park the car and take younger two in to check on the sizing for a new fleece the school has - before I put in the order. It is a busy road and Mac - my almost 3 year old has little road sense. So I had him out on the pavement with me whilst I unclipped Rory from the baby seat. Stood on wet grass by the side of the road (sprinkler system had been on) when I feel my flip flops slipping. "I'm going to fall on the concrete whilst holding the baby" I think. My ankle twists - I fall to my knees. "The baby is going to land with me and his head may hit the concrete" I hear myself think. It seems slow motion. His head bangs like a drum it seems so loud. Oh shit. I start to cry. I look at Mac who is still stood there waiting. I shout for help. A teacher runs over to help. My friends come over. They reassure me he is ok. I am crying. I don't think I am only crying for Rory but I am sobbing. The baby seems fine. Mac is giving him kisses. The baby only cries when someone wipes his nose. I calm down.
Drop Mac at his pre-school class. He has a melt down - which he normally doesn't. A new child has started and he takes an instant dislike to this little boy - snatched the cars off him and takes them away. I understand him but I am not happy to see him behaving like a perfectly normal 2 year old. The teacher sorts it out. I leave.
Baby seems fine but I am still worried. Nip home and find torch.. Check his pupils for reaction - seems fine. For some reason this reassures me. I had already phoned the Drs and spoken to the nurse who told me warning signs to watch out for.
Feed Rory, back into car to drive to pick up photos from Smug new parents who I wrote about previously who annoy me so much. The photos are ready but they have written their signature on the prints in bright gold pen. This was not what we agreed. "But we do that on ALL our work" she said. As I point out, all the other photos don't have it and it sticks out like a sore thumb. "Just use some ***** oil if you want it off," she says. I ask her to do it in case I ruin the photos (which are way over priced to begin with). She is outraged. She agrees but is so rude after that - even her husband seems embarrassed. "Well in all these years, no one has EVER asked us to take our name off," she says. "Well that's just tough lady, given the day I am having today don't expect me to back down" I think. I leave minus photos but fuming about her attitude given all the money I have spent with her.
Oh and she said 'Oh! I see Rory still has the red neck problem!' (The folds of skin on his neck are playing up - we have cream for this but it takes forever to heal.) What parent would point this out? Did she expect me to say 'Wow, I had missed that, thanks for pointing it out!' I was more tempted to say "Really? Well I see your molly coddled child STILL has the sticking out ears just like you then!" but for some reason I thought it might offend.
Nip home with Rory to pick up a cheque payment for pre-school. The 'director' was a bit sneeky I thought. Payments are due 1st of the month (today) but she did not put up a reminder on the door as she normally does. Monday is a holiday here - no school - so next occasion will be Wed when they are considered 'late' and you need to pay an extra 25 dollars. (Incidentally at pick up time there was a sign saying 'Payments due today - not Wednesday when late fee will apply.' There were lots of mums frantically looking for cheque books in handbags. )
Go to run next errand - get out of car. No shoes. I had forgotten to put my shoes back on when I was home. Great. (should point out our garage is attached to the house and we always take our shoes off at the door before we go inside). Drive back home. Get shoes. Rory asleep in car. OK, need to make up time - drop the last errand. Drive to shop to collect new towels etc I need to take to mountain house this weekend. Nearly crash the car parking into a tight spot. The towels I had seen no longer exist. Bloody brilliant.
Go to hardware store - pick up a load of nik-nak things we also need for the mountain house this weekend (we are finally at the stage we can put up pictures)
Go and meet hubby for lunch. Feed Rory. I could really do some more jobs but hubby will be cross if we cancel lunch as we don't have much chance to get together like that at all. Lunch is good but there are lots of flies hovering around our table which is off putting.
Drive with Rory to pick up Mac from pre-school. Even though it is only 2.30 I feel myself winding down for the day. He has had a good day it seems - I like his new teacher - she makes me feel like I am holding it all together and that is nice to hear on a day like today when it all feels like it is slipping from me.
Once I have Mac in the car I know we don't have to all get out again - I drive to pick up Bee and paddy - their school has a car pool system with the teachers all loading the children into the parents' cars - one car at a time. It normally works quite well. i am not late in getting there which is amazing considering Friday traffic.
We head home and meet the mailman who is delivering a parcel - a belated pressie for Paddy from my best friend in UK. We get in, it is drizzly rain which I love - reminds me of home. We get in our PJs (even before dinner) and we doss. it is friday, we have survived another week - the baby is fine. my kids are happy and healthy. And suddenly it feels like I am managing again.
My bad is another person's great. If something terrible had happened to one of my kids non of my little quibbles would have even registered.
Even though the baby is 7 months old - can I still blame it on hormones?
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2.9.06 15:41
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Names
Now I knoooooow this is personal but my 'wow' list gets longer.
Gage (boy) -
Burke (boy)
Brick (boy)
Stewart (girl)
Rita (2 yr old girl - sorry even though I haven't watched it for over 20 years I think of Coronation Street)
also Audrey is very popular here for little girls.
Jurnee - yes that's the way they spell it. For a girl.
If Bee had been a boy (not her real name) she would have been Joseph but when it came to baby #2 we didn't even consider it. After that we got boys names sorted eventually but we also considered Benedict, Saul, Doyle and Ciaran. For a girl it was Scarlett with middle names changing from Niamh, Freya and Grace.
A friend has a little girl called Malibu. I asked her if she knew it was a drink? Apparently it is after a beach as her hubby likes surfing.
Whatever floats your boat ........
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2.9.06 17:51
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mummy madness
I am currently reading a book called 'Perfect Madness' written by a woman who lived in France had had a relitavely calm, relaxed time with her child - lots of help from the state, no guilt at using child care etc. Then they moved back to good old US of A (her home) and all that changed. I am not too far into the book but so much of it seems to say that American women try TOO hard to do everything for the kids - for fear of not doing all the running about etc will put the kids in a worse position when it comes to everything from going to the right PRE-SCHOOL to College applications - the wrong place would seem to indicate failure in life and how would the parents deal with this in THEIR lives.
There was also a section on stay at home mums and working mums and how the former obsess about silly child orientated things (yes I do) whilst the others try to do everything at once and just hope it goes ok. It is a generalisation I know but a lot of it makes sense. There was the example of a conversation between a SAHM (stay at home mum) and a working mum.
SAHM 'I really need to decide on whether to get the basic Hello Kitty package set or the Ultra deluxe Hello Kitty set for Anabelle's 4th birthday. What do you think?'
WM 'I wish I had time to think about fucking Hello Kitty! That's what I think!'
Good point.
But maybe it is my living here and not being a native that is a reason I feel I don't get the child competition. I often draw the line at things I know other mothers relish (sitting in the park when it is gloomy etc). I set our lives to try and take in a lot of needs but I try not to forget my own. To many that may seem selfish, but it is the way it is and it works (most of the time) for me.
At the pre-school first day of school meeting there were the SAHMs who were dressed to impress. The always look lovely. Like they are going to a party - when they are just havong an ordinary day. I saw one who is quite chatty, she was weighing up the other mums - not indiscretely at all - and her eyes came to a friend of mine with 2 kids, who always looks harrassed - her wardrobe is least of her worries (Trinny and Susannah would have a field day) She was there in old shorts, white socks (matching) and trainers (American wardrobe for a lot of mums) - regular baggy t-shirt. Non of this was designer labels, not ironed, nor very flattering - but just watching smart mum eye up scruffier friend was very revealing... it seemed worse than the first day back at school on the playground even. It was the competitive thing you see. Well we all got the kids to school for 9am but look at the state of her!!!
It feels like that a lot. I often joke that I may have the kids at school and yes I am dressed but there are still dishes in the sink and the house looks like a bomb has gone off. People laugh politely but it is TRUE because you can't do everything and that matters least to me.
This could be a reason over here that people don't ever really pop in - or you arrange a day your kids will play together and you drop off the child to a spotless house - no sign that anyone really lives there - it's not real you understand, but it looks like you are coping 100% and winning the mummyhood competition. It makes me sad.
I remember once reading a Parenting magazine at a Dr.s appt. Someone had had a new baby and was tired of people popping in to see the baby with only giving her, God Forbid, a 20 minute window to 'straighten up the house.' The advice was that in those 20 minutes to straighten up just the main rooms, especially the bathroom and dirty dishes she didn't have time to deal with - just put them in the oven until the people were gone. Someone even wrote in to say that they had a big board they out over the sink which then hid the dirty plates etc.
Why would a new mum give a shit about this? Shouldn't she be enjoying time with the baby?
Also, if people see she has dirty dishes and a pile of washing on the floor - what will they think? That she is not coping or that there are more important things in life? But that seems the way it is here - the judgement is upon you.
But it does feel like a competition a LOT of the time. Is that the case in UK I wonder?
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5.9.06 03:11
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Parents
Despite having been a parent for 8 yrs + there are certain occasions where I find myself doing things that really seem to stamp out 'MUMMY' in capitals on my brain. Not the usual like Drs appts or parent evenings (parent/teacher conferences as they are called here and they are held during the day and the kids get 2 days off for this - hear that UK teachers?). Just had an instance this weekend. Sewing the name tag into son's new coat. Just feels very grown up and parenty somehow. What makes you feel most like a parent? 
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5.9.06 20:54
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CNN
OK so I am ploughing through my laundry pile (ironing) whilst watching CNN. I think it is fair to say that it is one of the more reputable news channels over here. I finished watching Anderson Cooper and then it went onto their Showbiz report. I left it on as it was about right for the fancy ironing technique needed for Bee's uniform. So I watch an segment on car chases - often shown live on tv over here. The suspect is chased by numerous police cars - all being filmed and transmitted live - normally on local tv. There have been various forms of transports used - an Army tank, a huge 7Up tractor trailer, a bus, a RV, a motorbike - or plain old cars. I have maybe watched one live in my 10 years here and that was no doubt when we lived in California - where, according to tonight's programme, the majority of these high speed car chases take place. They then proceed to interview a woman - maybe 60 years old, looking pretty ordinary - a typical M&S shopper maybe.... this woman is apparently addicted to watching these live car chases (which can end with gruesome outcomes - gunfire, accidents etc). This normal looking woman SUBSCRIBES to a SERVICE which alerts her, with a phone call, to let her know when a car chase is in progress, and which channel she should tune into to watch. ?????????????? There was then a clip of a senior Police Officer in California being asked why California had such a high rate of these incidents. "Because California has a lot of nuts" he said. Mmmmmmmm. 
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7.9.06 04:23
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