Is it me.............
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Flu
So, took Mac for his 3 year old check up last Thursday - everything fine. He had his 2nd chickenpox vaccine. Also the flu vaccine for under 3s was in so Rory had his jab - left with 2 screaming kids. Ok. Then Rory got sick, threw up, temp of 100.2 - he had had a cold before but the cough was becoming rattley (v medical term)! So took him back to pediatricians (10 quid a visit - insurance picks up the rest). So saw Dr who thought temp was down to flu shot the day before and his excess mucus had made him sick. Sounds ok. The weekend his fever was up and down - gave him our version of Calpol and another thing Dr had given me for his cold symptoms. Sat night thought the worst was over. Sun afternoon he was off his food and still cold like symptoms. Yesterday seemed ok but last night he was again off his food. This morning (he slept fine) he had temp of 102.3 and threw up again so back to the Drs. She did swabs for strep throat and flu. he has THE FLU!!!! He is the first patient to have it at the pediatricians (doesn't make me feel better) and he is now on antibiotics, Tylenol as needed and the rest of us have been prescribed Tamifholu which should perhaps prevent us from getting it (presuming we don;t have it already). Flu shots for the rest of us are not available yet it seems.
So irony is that Rory is the only one who got the flu shot but not in time it seems.
So go to Pharmacy to be told they don;t have the Tamiflu in liquid form.
Go to next pharmacy who have it - go back in an hour and they say my insurance will only allow them to give me 1/2 a bottle for the kids- I will need to refill the prescription for them later. My understanding is they need to take the whole course of meds - so I must remember to get the refills - which will cost the insurance company the same - they are just awkward. The 6 prescriptions (5 x Tamiful - and antibiotics for Rory) came to almost 200 sollars (100 pounds WITH insurance coverage). I called from home to ask pharmacy if they had called my insurance company to check they wouldn't let me have the other half bottle for the kids - they called to check.
Not only will the insurance company not let me have the 2nd half bottle now, they will not allow me to get it at all without direct Dr's authorization. Who do they think wrote the bloody prescription in the first place?
Honestly..........
So he probably won't be going trick or treating. Well at least I get to stay home with him - I didn't want to dress up as Princess Fiona from Shrek (I left costume buying for me to the last minute - it was that or a Playboy Bunny).
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1.11.06 01:49
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honest
So I took all the children out for ice-cream yesterday - Bee and Paddy had the day (2 days) off school as it was parent-teacher conferences. No such thing as parent evenings here, you schedule your time with the teacher during the day and 20 minutes per child with their main teacher and in return the children have 2 days off.
So at the ice-cream place we were being 'observed' by an elderly couple. I gave Rory (9 months) a taste of the ice-cream - he has been unwell and I thought it might be a nice cold feeling on his throat. Anyhow I could hear the old woman say 'Oh, look at his face' but couldn't work out if was in an approving or disapproving tone so just ignored it.
On the way out the woman stopped and said 'Are they all yours?' So obviously I replied that indeed they were. Her eyes lit up a bit and she said 'Oh we had 4 too, it's a lot of work isn't it?' I nodded in agreement (it really isn't that bad) and she said 'Yes, 4 of similar ages, and I can tell you I don;t miss it ONE BIT!' and she grinned and went on her way.
Incidentally I met a woman in the supermarket last week and she had EIGHT children. I felt very pathetic with 'just the four.'!!!!!!
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4.11.06 21:55
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The Vote
So the voting for the mid-term elections comes to an end..... Whilst we are legal aliens (that is the term = permenant residents) we are not US citizens so we are not allowed to vote. But no-one can escape the whole atmosphere right now. Never have I seen as many tv adverts discrediting candidates, photoshopping portraits of the candidates ( unfavourably of course), using odd negative facts to influence the audience. They seem nothing like party political broadcasts I remember from UK - these are little ads like the ones you have for Burger King or WHSmith.... Slag off the candidate and then at the end you have the 'better candidate' saying something like, "I am Mike Reynolds and I approve this message.'
There is a mother in Mac's pre-school room who is very much working for one candidate - her car is covered with bumper stickers promoting him and she has even started to wear his t-shirts into class - customised with a few strategic nips and tucks in the appropriate places. Even as someone who cannot vote (a fact I shared with her early on in the campaign) I felt a little intimidated with her apparel. Yesterday she was saying that she was due to go on the phone bank that evening but she wans't sure there was much point as she was convinced most people had made up their minds by then. So that would be the face of one of those annoying people who phone you at dinner time and try and persuade you their candidate is the best. But I think she will have a smile on her face tomorrow.
On the drive to school with the children there is one major intersection where there have been at least 50 people most mornings waving their placards into the lanes of traffic. All the different names, blurring your view of the traffic. Handmade signs saying 'Honk for...' added to the candidates name. It is quite an impressive turnout despite the cold mornings but how many people will seriously be swayed by the signs they see? And if they are, should they be voting anyhow?
Today as I drove along just after 7.30am the lines to vote were massive- traffic and people. I do not remember similar scenes November 2nd 2004. In this city there were computer issues so apparently the polling stations have stayed open later to accommodate the people who have patiently waited - and snacks and drinks have been provided whilst they queue.
I think people are voting mainly due to the war in Iraq. It seems to be the overall opinion now that there is no such thing as 'winning' and until some move is made to get the troops out, military personal risk their lives, the death count goes up and really there is little progress being made. But who likes to back down and admit defeat? There was a political ad running where an ex-soldier who had obviously been wounded in Iraq (he was blind, his face heavily scarred and had lost an arm) was saying that Bush needed support and that we needed to get behind him and support the war otherwise what was the point of his fellow soldiers having died and he having lost his sight? It was an opinion I had not figured on. By pulling out you are indeed saving lives of servicemen/women who could otherwise be killed but are you cancelling out the sacrifice made by those already maimed and killed? I do not think we know the answer but we know that the course of action today is not working - and I think that is why the elections have had such a heavy turn out..... We shall wait and see if the results support this at all.
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8.11.06 04:48
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Past
So I have been e-mailing my new found friend from 6th form. We seem on the same wave length and both moan of similar trials and tribulations with young children. As we haven't been in touch since 1988 there is a lot to catch up on - so we have been throwing out chapters of our lives in detail: a parent's death, marriage, university, thoughts on school, childbirth. Most of them I have been through before an awful lot - but summing up 'University' for her was quite something else. She knew me so well before we left school. Then I did a Gap year in Europe which changed me so much and then came my university years. As I described them it was bringing back such fun memories. It seemed as if I was describing a very very different person - indeed I was. But in the way that I am so settled now and I know where we are going in life (sort of). Back then it was very much a case of 'winging it' and a very very laid back attitude. I described to her how after the year as an au-pair I was soooo laid back. If a missed a flight, so what? There would be another one and then if not, there would be another route. I feel like that has been zapped out of me. Totally. I want it back. That carefree outlook on life. Not the 'if this light turns red the kids will almost definitely be late for school - oh no bollocks'. And I described my love life of those years. It sounded great. I know it wasn't but don't forget this was a summary - the best bits. It sounded exciting. Maybe that is it. I am happy - but my life is not exciting. Am I having a mid-life crisis do you think???? 
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8.11.06 20:00
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Monte who?
A friend of mine has 2 children. Just 1 year apart. She is a Dr and went back to work quite quickly after the 2nd child was born so she depended on the creche facilities offered at the hospital where she works. The first child - lets call her Sara changed rooms within the creche and my friend felt it wasn't quite as good as the baby room had been and so started to look for other Day Care options. She had heard good reviews about Montessori schools which also offer a 'day care type facility. So they filled in the forms, jumped through the hoops and went on the waiting list. They were told Sara (just 18 months old) could start in the 18 months- 3 year room this week. They were also told the teacher would require a home visit the day before (sunday).
So my friend called me last night in a bit of a state. The teacher had arrived, looked around the house and said 'Oh. So you still have her in a cot then?' The child is 18 months old. She asked about potty training which they haven't attempted yet - she is 18 months old for goodness sake, and with a 6 month old, a job, a husband who works a lot away from home, well strangely enough this hasn't been top of their list.
So after the teacher left they must have already felt a bit like they were doing it wrong.... she found out from a friend that at their home visit they were quite proud that they had set up a little table and chairs with books all over to show how they promoted books etc for their child - independence seems to be a key word with this school system. And the same teacher had turned up and looked around, saw the table books etc but also saw a TV and some Baby Einstein dvds and said 'Oh, so you let her watch a lot of tv do you?' The words old and dragon spring to mind.....
My friend had been told for the first week Sara would go 1 hr Mon, 2 hrs Tue etc. So on Monday she had cleared her morning appts and went to the school expecting to go in the room with Sara. No the teacher wans't having that - hand the child over at the coat rack. Understandably the child was crying, my friend was crying. I think that would be a normal reaction. The teacher said the hour had gone fine. The next day my friend's husband dropped Sara off and the teacher handed him some sheets she had photocopied - to give to his wife (my friend). Sheets about separation anxiety and how parents don't help their children with the tears etc. Now if this had been going on for a week or so I could understand it but after 1 day?????
Also they seem very big on potty training. All the children are in training pants in this room and when you pick up your child you get the plastic bag with all the wet/soiled pants in it to take home and sort out. At 18 months isn't this a bit harsh? She asked me what I think. At Bee & Paddy's school there are traditional and Montessori classes but the M side is nothing like this (but the classes here only start at 3). She is going in for a conference today with the teacher...
Obviously this was only hearsay from her perspective. Her friends tried to reassure her that the teacher is very harsh with all the parents but great with the kids. Mmm. We had an experience like this when Bee was 6. The teacher was awful and very condescending to us. You came away felling like a crap parent. She was using reverse psychology - any problems were obviously related to home and family life. It was a tough year and when I talked to the other parents they kept saying 'yes but they learn SOOOO much by the end of the year.' It didn't balance for us - I didn't like the teacher's tactics - complaints went unaddressed by the school - they just said 'that is the way it is.' We left the school and whilst it was hard finding another school I know it was the right decision and I am sooo pleased we made the move. I feel for my friend. She really has her hands full - feels she is only just keeping it all together and the last thing she needs is to have a questioning teacher.... I think she is surprised that despite her own qualifications it has affected her so much. I hope they take the child out of that system. I will keep you posted. For anyone with Montessori experience - does this sound normal?
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9.11.06 16:22
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Childhood
I am not sure I would describe my life as exciting. To many it would be mundane. It is not where I ever thought I would be (in a positive way) but on the whole I am very happy with my lot. Sure, I have my down days, who doesn't but generally I can look on the bright side of life and move forward.
I was brought up in a very different extreme. We were poor but lived in a way that was mixed - we had our own home but we lived very very cheaply. Free school dinners, hand me down clothes. That has no relelvance at all on a child if there is a warm, loving, rich family life - if you feel the parent(s) is/are doing the best they can. But there wasn't. At all. Don't remember being hugged as a child. read to or anything. I was never beaten, left hungry or thrown out in the cold. But I was (starting around age 13) ignored, for weeks on end. 2 people in the same house but thoughrily ignored as a punishment. A bedroom door locked and trips to bathroom / food from the kitchen the only need to come out.
This was I believe emotional abuse - a punishment - which then exceeded itself once it was over. For someone to do this to a 13 year old I believe shows they have limited awareness of emotions, or capacity to deal with life in a reasonable manner. But its what I had growing up.
I took solace in school and a part time job. It kept me out of the house and gave me something else to focus on. Most of the time I was able to completely detach from my home circumstances, but never ever truly forget.
I have not lived at that house since 1989. I dread going back - and the person who raised me (not my biological mother) maintains a detached relationship with me which I can only endure in snipits. I am used to talking about this. But I don't like to talk of it often as I don't allow it to play on my life now in many ways. But it is always there in all that I do with my own kids. In fact since having my own children I can truly say I am even MORE critical of the way I was raised. I know it is normally the other way around - people have children and gain newfound respect for their own parents.
It affects me in many ways. I talk to my kids all the time. In many ways I obsess with them and their welfare - perhaps this over -compensation is a way for me to balance it. I want them to realise they are lucky compared to so many in the world but not have them hear it constantly and feel guilty for it. I want them to feel loved and secure and maybe superficially to have nice things, not be spoilt, but to have nice clothes and not have clothes 10 years out of date. (My boys still do hand me downs).
I doubt myself a lot as a parent - I am sure it is part of the territory - but I know that compared to my background I should not even consider this an option. I wonder what it could possibly take for me to react in that way. At what stage will I ever say to myself 'you know what , you are never going to understand it because it was not only unforgiveable but illogical. There is no way to make sense of it. It does not exist.'
Hubby knows all of this - he had a very different background. Very loving. He has a background he wants to duplicate for our family - mine is something I want to run as far away from as possible. Somehow I think we are doing very very well meeting in the middle. And I feel pretty confident saying I think my kids are having a happy childhood......
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11.11.06 13:44
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danger....
If you have a 3 year old who is easily influenced with advertising; anything from one single tv advert to recognising posters at bus stops and characters on cereal packets - then maybe you too have known all about the film 'Flushed Away' from the creators of Wallace and Gromit. Something about rats in the sewers under London. The one and only trailer we saw for this film showed Roddy the main rat, being flushed down a toilet. So you might get one of the toys along with your Happy Meal from Macdonalds. You might cling to said toys for days. You may be good enough to be taken to the cinema - with said toys in your possession. Then on your return you may wait until your parents are out of sight and decide to flush your own Roddy down the toilet. Your toilet at home. And then sob, a lot....
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13.11.06 01:39
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