If I can get into August I will be ok with it all.  I have calmed down a lot the last 10 days.  Didn't expect to do as well as I actually felt the first 3 or 4 days. 

They had said that their blog updates would follow them on their trip but I didn't really expect them to.  When I read of their travels I suddenly missed them more than I had imagined.  I should just have left it alone. 

I am being fine at home - playing more with the kids and getting on with things around here...but in the back of my mind I still have an itch to go and do something wild.  No ones fault I am so bored at the moment - nobody but myself.\

I am missing the excitement I think - maybe that is the deal. 

I wonder how it will all fizzle out or whether it will end up like some '84 Charring Cross Road' story. 

It's similar to the way I expect my life will suddenly become mine again when all the kids are back to school.  I have unrealistic expectations and then when it doesn't all click into place my depression kicks in and I just struggle to tread water on an everyday basis.

I need to learn to be content with my lot in life. Instructions would be gladly accepted. 

...about ... going back to England - not for good, but just for a holiday.  But just me... no hubby, no kids.  And I would go on an anonymous jaunt - wouldn't actually go and see my friends - just spend time in London, see the sights, go shopping - just chill and sort of feel in familiar surroundings.

This is strznge for many reasons  -

1.  I am not the greatest at leaving my kids  - don't like to do it and worry about them a lot when I am not there.

2.  I am not actually a big fan of London.  We normally fly in there when we go home but then get out of there ASAP.  Even when we lived quite close to London I didn't actually go in that often.

3.  I don't really miss England that much but if I am going to take time and have a break by myself then I want to go somewhere I know.  So why not Germany or Italy?  Dunno.

4.  I have a 1/2 brother in London - would I look hom up? Probably not.

5.  England is so expensive right now - but hubby still goes 2 or 3 times a year..so why shouldn't I?

6.  Even though I would SO NOT go and see my family, I haven't seen them in over 3 years and then if anything happens to any of them I will feel even guiltier for having been in their country and not having seen them...

So I will probably just put it off a tad longer then....??????????