I was writing to someone today about parenting etc.  And I said that whilst I often doubted some of the things I did as a mother, all I really had to go on was a lot of what not to do.

1.  I will never say that the kid/kids were good when they were babies...implying that anything thereafter is not good

2. I will never give my kids ridiculous ultimatums especially ones that I can't follow through on

3. I will try to never ignore them.....the silent treatment doesn't resolve anything in my book.

4. I will always cuddle them and tell them I love them

5. I will always try to be there for the no matter what.

6. I will try never to keep family secrets from them **

7. I will really try to stay objective when they start dating....knowing that it can back fire if you are really against a boy/girl friend

8. I will teach them all to cook.

9. I will always support their chosen careers (I hope - remind me of this is Bee ever wants to be a stripper in a cage).

10. I will keep quiet when they name their kids.  They don't need to know if we ever had neighbours who called their dogs those names....Sure there is plenty more to include but these are the main ones springing to mind....

P** you could say that because I haven't explained my adoption birth mother/grand mother dilemma that I am keeping the secret and I suppose in a way I am.  With almost everyone else I am open about it - but until my gran dies then I don;t want to make the situation worse for her.  I really shouldn't care at all about her feelings given some of the shit she has pulled with me over the years but I don;t think the kids need to know of that just yet.