Button
What is your button? By that I mean - what does it take to set you off? Don't we all have one - or do I just know people who do?
I think as a parent there are few of us who like to hear our children critisised. I know I always resent hubby saying negative things about our kids - but maybe I transfer his views to an attack on my parenting seeing as I do it more with the kids than he does.
I once had a friend who was quite refreshing in that he would call a spade a spade. He would say if his kids were being monsters - if they were driving him mad. Maybe as we were close once he felt he could say that. It was really different to hear the truth (I never met his kids). So much of the time there is that hidden pretense going on - all is hunky dory - never really being honest.
With me I know I also have the family trigger. In a row this can be brought up and immediately my barriers are down. It is like touching a raw nerve. But the person arguing knows damn well what he is doing. Bringing up the past..alluding to it having tainted situations where things otherwise would not have worked in my favour (almost like a different approach to affirmative action).
I know a guy whose weakness is his parents. He adores them. You can have a joke about them, sure but cross that line and you have found his button.
I knew a guy who had a problem with his brother. Never wanted to talk about it - he a;lways changed the subject. But you could tell - that was easily his button to press.
Maybe these would be the areas to delve into should you ever see a shrink. And for those of us who could probably do with such appointments but are in denial about it - these are the subjects we bury away in our psyche and hope not to dwell on too much for fear of opening up the can of worms. Sometimes that can mean shutting people out who know too much - avoiding the vulnerable risk. An expenditure. Call it what you will. But I think everyone at some stage gets this level of threat - their button - No?